The world is a great place to call home. So, you’re happy all the time and life is great 24/7, right?
If that doesn’t describe your current state of mind, you’re in good company. According to a New York Times Post published in 2013, one in four women in their 40s or 50s is on anti-depressants.
If that’s not you, you can still win a prize. Perhaps you’re a member of the 13% of the population that’s on anti-depressants. I’d like to see a show of hands. Who’s in either of these two groups? Awesome! Let’s see…..hold them up high… that’s 1,2,3 …41,740,000. Thank you. Now… Keep your hands raised if you’re left handed. Alrighty then. For the 37,566,000 who just put their hands down, thank you for taking part.
The rest of you ladies and gentlemen can put your hands down too. There’s great news for 4.2 million of you. Right here and now, I’m going to give you something that’s just wonderful:
5 Simple Ways to Boost Happiness for Depressed Left Handed People
Oh, by the way. I’m left handed and depressed. That qualifies me to write this kind of stuff.
Since being happy is big business and I’m all about business, let’s get to it:
1. Paint a freakin picture – If you don’t have any paint that’s okay. Just draw something real pretty. Go get your paper and a writing implement. Nothing sharp, please. I don’t want to be responsible if this doesn’t work out for you. Ok, great. If you have kid’s I suggest doing a painting (or drawing) for them, if not kidnap the neighbor kids.
If You’re Not Tempted to Laugh, You May be Severely Depressed – Sorry, I tried.
2. Start a project and never finish it – In my experience, there’s nothing like starting something new. It’s so much fun to cast last year’s expensive project aside and start fresh. Nothing says A.D.D. quite like a new hobby or an amazing new idea, with much more clarity than the last one. If you don’t get this, its O.K. Its for the focus challenged, like myself. If you do get it, welcome aboard. We can bounce off the walls in unison.
3. Eat while pretending you’re a chipmunk – This one’s great. You know, you’ll really enjoy the food. Besides, what better way to use your cheeks. Honestly, it’s relieving. I suggest low carb. Perhaps a half pig or a government round of cheese. That way, you won’t have to go poop for a while.
4. As you’re walking down the sidewalk, look back, and quickly run like you’re really scared. This will make your day, I promise, but your popularity may suffer a bit. I’m excite for you because you’re really going to enjoy this exercise. Make sure there is at least 3 or four people close to you that you’ve never seen before you do this.
- I’ve never actually done this one, but I fully intend to. – Please comment and let me know how this goes.
A Really Easy and Fun Way for you to Boost your Happiness
5. Have a date night at Walmart. Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it. Really, its priceless, cheap entertainment. Super Walmarts are the ones you want to target for date night. This will allow for you to pick up a snack or two in the food section. That way, you can watch the entertainment at the check out line with refreshments, from a distance. Remember to save the empty containers, so you can pay for your snacks that you’ve devoured. Warning: If you pull up a lounge chair, they may ask you to leave, but it improves your viewing pleasure.
- This is really a treat in my neck of the woods, Pasco County, Florida. I understand, we’re officially the meth capital of the USA now. These folks are great entertainment. It’s the best freak show on earth. We try to guess which trailer park people come from and the brand of scooter their driving. It’s not only fun, but its safe, clean fun. Hell, this ain’t just for weekends. Have fun and enjoy the show any time of day or night.
Key Talking Points
- Always should have as much fun as possible for any reason, even if you’re right handed.
- You should recognize you’re a little crazy. If you don’t think so, get some help, OK?
- It’s okay to have fun at someone else’s expense provided they don’t know where you live and can’t reach you.
- Walmart is not only a great place to shop, its like a theater you can enter for free and enjoy shows anytime.
- My town has more meth addicts than yours, so don’t even try to compete.
If you found this entertaining, or even offensive, please comment. If I seriously offended you, I’m probably not qualified to be of any real help to you, At least not for free.